Too much homework. >__<
Too long classes.
Too short weekends.
Too many people.

I don't want my brother to have to choose his college or university next year! My gosh, he's not that old! I can't handle him moving out! He's one of the only things I've always had in my life, and now he's going to leave!
And my grandparent's farm! I don't want them to move! I love that farm, I love going there every year, being out in the country, the smells, the sounds, all the animals, the amazing food. I can't believe that they're going to move out!

Anyways, it ended up with her swearing life would be a lot harder from then on. (Isn't she cool? Failing math, AND threatening grade 9s. I so wanna be like her when I grow up! Although, I guess Colin does have an attitude, but she did insult him. Ah dunno. I'll just move on...)
So eventually the teacher came in (after plenty of swearing from the grade 10s who are so cool that they decided to fail last year.)
She changed the seating arrangement, so now I'm beside...ummm...some other guy. >_> forgot his name. Blake? Something like that...
After that it was just explaining stuff. (And a math puzzle. Which...I have for homework...I should go work on that soon...)
Well, my math teacher seems nice.
The students don't. I predict grade 10 girl will be a problem. (By the way, it's not so much that I have a problem with people who fail classes, as long as it's because they don't understand, and they're not just lazy. But it's more that she was so rude to the grade nines...)

First Break Ever of High School

Erm...way too long. I dropped my math book off in my locker, (after failing to open the lock at least 4 times...) visited Adrienne and Steph, talked to Rusty, and still had time before my next class. But...ah well. (it could be more useful if I had classes at opposite ends of the school or something, I guess...)

Second Period

Drama. :3
So, waited outside the room for a while. A girl attempted to learn all our names, but thought I was Emma. But she did like my skirt. (Ooo, so did someone in my math class. And I think someone in the halls randomly...)
Then the teacher came. I met up with Manleen. Boy sat beside me. (Or rather, he was probably sitting beside his friend, and I just happened to be there.)
Boy asked Manleen how she was. She said okay. He said that was good to hear. (Heehee.)
Teacher did attendance. She said we could talk if we wanted.
So boy asked me how I was. I said fine. He said he was good. He asked me for our names. He told us he was Leo. (Hah, awesome name, duntcha think? ...I assume that's how it's spelt...)
Leo has long dark hair which he wears in a ponytail. He has blue eyes and a face full of freckles. He's shorter than me, thin and lanky. (Nurie: he actually looks somewhat like Treespinner.)
So he asked Manleen how she was again. I told him he already asked. He said he had asked me. I reminded him that he had asked her before. We continued debating for a bit, then Manleen butted in to our lovely conversation and said that I should stop arguing with him. (Manleen thinks I'm an angry girl who takes things too seriously, and has an out of control temper or some such thing. She also thinks I'm going to come out of high school a mean girl. Isn't that lovely?)
And then, when we were passing the sheets on the course, he was somewhat dazed when I leaned over to pass the paper to him. I waved the paper in front of his face, and a few people giggled. He suddenly noticed, and told me to be more obvious next time.
And then he died. (We were playing wink murder. :3)

And then we had an assembly. (He sat behind me, with some cool punky girls, and occasionally put his arms in front of me to grab stuff from his friend in front of me.)
Leo seems really cool. I hope we get to be friends. (Oh, by the way, this feeling is purely platonic, if you were wondering.)

Lunch
 
So then I had to go figure out where to go for lunch. (After Adrianne told me probably 3 times that I had to go get lunch. I was just following her around until then.)
Free hotdogs. Whoo hoo. Oh well, there was a free coke too. So it was fine. And free. (And very crowded.)
So I went and sat by the windows in the foyer, wondering where Adrianne was.
Krissy came and sat with me for a bit. (Ruining my angsty loner-ness) Then she ran off somewhere.
Eventually Adrianne came back.
We ate. We stared at bleach-blond-puppy-boy and popsicle-mohawk-boy. (erm, I think Adrianne said their names are...Brandon and...Jeff? Maybe...not sure...) I noticed Leo off with the cool punky girls. (I decided that I wanted to join their group. They seemed cool...)
After commenting on all the band tees we had seen, we went upstairs. Talked to Steph, Laxanna and Manleen for a bit. They went off. Adrianne and I stood around her locker for a while.
Lunch was still not over. Not even when I took 4 tries to open my locker.
It technically wasn't even done when I headed downstairs for my next class. >__> so far the breaks are very long...

Room 108

French class. I stood outside and doodled for a bit. The teacher let us in.
I noticed there were names on the desks, and found mine, which, though in the back, was not solitary. "Echo" was the name on the card on the desk beside me.
Echo, a girl with funky red hair, came and sat beside me.
So...French was fine. The teacher doesn't seem very French. I mean, I guess he can speak it, but he has a strange accent when he does. (Maybe I'm just too used to French teachers actually being French.)
But he seemed nice enough. (Even though Echo was mouthing to her friend on the other side of me how he was "so gay". >___>;)

Break Number 2

I'm kind of upset that that was all I got for a vacation. I didn't do much of anything. Which, in itself, was nice, not NEEDING to do anything. But...I wish I could say I accomplished something.

I...
Fostered cats. (And became more attached to them than I have to any foster cat since our first time fostering. Which isn't good, because I was really upset when they got adopted.)
Saw my grandparents. (Including my grandpa in the hospital. I managed to cry at least three times there.)
Spent time with friends. (And decided that I really am destined to be a loner, despite how much I complain about being alone.)
Attempted to figure myself out. (And managed to figure out that I know nothing about who I am.)
Went between periods of refusing to eat and eating everything in sight. (Discovered I must have some problem with food.)
Slept at strange times. (Discovered that no matter how late, or early, I stay up, I can never manage to talk to the people I want to.)
Cried over strange songs, and at strange moments. (Discovered that I am a major crybaby.)
Got over past mistakes. (Already ready to get caught up again.)

I suppose...I accomplished something. Not much, but something.

I am scared of high school. Very much so.
But...maybe I'll be okay.

There's only up from here...

Only 3 months till Halloween!!! :3

I love Halloween. So much. I seriously love Christmas, but I think Halloween is my favourite holiday.

I dunno...there's something amazing about it...

For one thing, I love costumes. I love wearing them, and I love making them. (Well, so far, I haven't really made any costumes. I've designed them, but never made them. But now that I'm learning to sew, maybe I will!) I love taking on another identity. Even if just for the night. It's fun to pretend to be what you're not, maybe what you're scared of, or what you wish you were.

And I love the feeling of Halloween spirit. A slightly gothic and scary time of year, but all in good fun. I love it, the dark colours, the ghost stories, the vampires and monsters. It's kind of like Tim Burton films. They're gothic and surreal and sometimes with violence, but they all end well. I love the colours, and the special shows and movies, and the food. Man, I love the food. Candy. :D

And I love autumn in general. When I think October, I think apples, and falling leaves, and pumpkins, and orange, and sunsets, and cool breezes. It's such a wonderful time of year. It should be depressing, since it's when everything is dying, but I find it beautiful, and calming.

 

I wish I could find someone with the same love of Halloween. My family doesn't really care about it. To my mom, it means making me a costume. To my brother, it means buying a huge bag of candy and sitting around watching some horror flick. To my dad...I don't think it even means anything to my dad. For him, it's just another day.

But I love Halloween. It means so much to me. I start getting excited about it as early as July, and continue thinking about it and preparing for it until midnight on Halloween day. And then...I'm left with a depressing emptiness, because it's over again. But then, I look through my candy, and I think of my costume for the next year, and I wait eagerly for the next October 31st.

I wish someone felt the same way as me. (Then we could throw a huge Halloween party!!! Eeee, that would be so fun! With monster movie marathons, and trick or treating, and horror makeovers, and tons of gross looking but delicious food. Man. That would be so awesome.)

But...most people don't really care about it that much. To them, for a while it means free candy, but then they get older, and it means...nothing. Just another day for little kids to run around high on sugar.

 

It's scary for me to think that I'm getting to the age where I'm probably too old for trick or treating. I've always done it, so long as I can remember. (Maybe if I were shorter, I could pass off as younger...>_>) But now, people will think of me as a freaky teen, and maybe wont even open the door. Which I find unfair. But I guess I'm almost, if not already, too old.

I wish I didn't have to grow up. So far, I find nothing good about being a teenager.

Man, now I feel like crying. I don't want Halloween to mean nothing to me. And even if I continue to love it immensely, what am I supposed to do when no one else cares, and no one will even let me participate because I'm too old? I can watch specials by myself, and make my own gruesome food, and buy my own candy, but that's not nearly as fun as it would be too spend Halloween with someone else who cares.

Okay, now I have to have children, just so I can make them costumes and take them trick or treating. ...but what if they don't like Halloween? ;_______;

 

Okay, I'm going to stop worrying about my age. Maybe I'm still young enough. And even if I'm not, I can still thoroughly enjoy Halloween, can't I?

 

I wonder if Gerard likes Halloween...

 

(Does anyone else here love Halloween? o_o)

Heh, it's kinda funny how my hormones have taken over my brain. Funny in a scary kind of way. o_o

Gerard Way is love. Remember that always.

Ummm, I dont know what else to say. Hopefully I'll update blogdrive more...

<3

Well, I've had band (by the way, dunno if I said this already somewhere, but in Musicfest, senior band got Silver+. Which is good. And jazz got gold in Kiwanis. ^__^) and musical (in two weeks! O_O) So I've been busy.

Aw, confederation debates are almost over. ._. they were fun. I mean, we're in...3rd last, I think. But, ah well. ^_^

Agh, in two months (!!!TWO MONTHS!!!) I'll be graduating...from grade eight. (So I assume...if you only fail one term can you still not graduate? Not that I intend to fail, but just keeping my options open.)
And, with graduation comes the loss of the majority of my friends.
;_;
I guess I should be used to it. I mean, I've been to 5 different schools in my life. (I envy the people who stay in one school their whole life...or, at least only two school, with the same people...)
But then, besides from Kitchener, this is the longest I've ever stayed anywhere. (And in Kitchener, I only got to grade 1 before moving, so I didn't even make that many friends...)
Truthfully, most of my best friends I only met this year, but still...(what about Sam-sam and Tommy? Who I've known since I moved here?)

I think I can think of have excuses.
Ummmm...okay, when did I last blog? o_o Gah, I dunno, I'm too lazy to check...
Well, I had March Break. And therfore had little to say...ooo, I saw Constantine. Creepy but spiffy movie. (OMH, uh...darnnit, can't remember the name...the guy from Even Stevens, and Holes, he was in it. ^_^ He was a loser though, and he...well, I wont spoil the ending. ^_^;)
And then there was last week of school. And, not much happened...we started dancing chorus. o_o really scary. How I wish I had a part with lines, and I didn't have to do this scary dancing stuff...
And then this weekend was Easter. And I was at my grandparents (8 hours away!) so therefore I couldn't update.
That's the best I can give you. ^_^

Gah...report cards tomorrow. o_o I hope I don't fail anything. (At least, fail in my terms. As in, 70% and below. Yesh, that is not technically failing, but I'm picky. XP so there.)
I hope I don't have a teacher-parent interview thing. (...they do have something to talk about..>_> I hope the teachers drop it though, they said they would...yesh, I am being vague. If you go to my LJ, you might have some idea what I'm talking about...you might not, but still...)

...you know, I should really practice trombone... (Especially since I'm in Senior AND Jazz band. ^__^;;;)
But it's too late now...ah well...

And art shall kill me. I love it, but it is tough love...

There is no pain, you are receding, a distant ship's smoke in the distance...I have become comfortably numb... (;_; so obsessed it hurts. XD, BBQ has a funny screenname...)

You know, I think that can almost count as a country song. o_o Ah well...

Darnnit, why must my friends have lives? I mean, despite the fact that I'm almost always on MSN, they're never on when I am! >_>

Wow, ASOUE won an Oscar?! O_O I didn't know that! I didn't even know that it was nominated for anything!!! NOBODY TELLS ME ANYTHING!!! (XD, when I was informing my parents of this, I actually said ASOUE, not A Series of Unfortunate Events, but asoue. Like a-sew-ee. XDDDDDD)

I'm going to watch chick flicks over the March Break. (Well, two chick flicks anyways. Well, one semi chick flick...) o_o We were going to rent a bunch of movies, and when the parents asked for what I wanted to see, I told them just the couple of movies we already had planned to get. (Studio Ghible/Miyazaki movies, The Incredibles, Princess Diaries 2...) I couldn't think of anything else, so my mom said she'd get me some chick flicks.
And lo and behold, they rented The Prince and...I? Me? I can't remember. Whatever.
o_o hmmmkay. Well, it could be a good movie.

....am I a girly girl? Whoa, I never really watch romance/teen/chick movies. Usually I just see what my brother, and parents, want to see, which is generally comics-made-into-movies, action movies, dinosaur/history movies, and sometimes horror movies.
o_o whoa, that's weird.
Not that I wouldn't MIND seeing more girly movies, but I just don't want to go alone. And I never go to movies with friends. (;_;) And my mom isn't really into that sort of thing.
Ah well. That is the way.

...you know, I've never actually seen Titanic. Or Austin Powers. Or any of those classics which everyone has seen. (But then, my parents only recently let me start watching PG-13/14A movies. I think it will be a while till they let me see R rated movies...)
I'm such a loser. ^_____^

Okay, just as a poll thingy, what would you rather me put in my blog entries?

a) Information about your personal life. Even if it's boring stuff, I want to hear about you and your friends.
b) Your opinions on stuff. Like movies, or music, or even just life.
c) Random stuff. Make up stories, write lyrics, show pictures (can't do that, I don't have a host remember? Well, I can link you to my DA account I guess...)
d) Lots of survey goodness.
e) Something else. (If you choose this, please tell me what.)
f) You suck. Your blog sucks. You should go die in a pit. (XD...;_;...baby when you're gone, I realize I'm in love...)

Mwaha. Now it is bolded. You cannot ignore it. Mwaha. (Well, you'll probably ignore it anyways, but still.)

And now I shall go die in a pit.