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I love Halloween. So much. I seriously love Christmas, but I think Halloween is my favourite holiday.

For one thing, I love costumes. I love wearing them, and I love making them. (Well, so far, I haven't really made any costumes. I've designed them, but never made them. But now that I'm learning to sew, maybe I will!) I love taking on another identity. Even if just for the night. It's fun to pretend to be what you're not, maybe what you're scared of, or what you wish you were.

And I love the feeling of Halloween spirit. A slightly gothic and scary time of year, but all in good fun. I love it, the dark colours, the ghost stories, the vampires and monsters. It's kind of like Tim Burton films. They're gothic and surreal and sometimes with violence, but they all end well. I love the colours, and the special shows and movies, and the food. Man, I love the food. Candy. :D

And I love autumn in general. When I think October, I think apples, and falling leaves, and pumpkins, and orange, and sunsets, and cool breezes. It's such a wonderful time of year. It should be depressing, since it's when everything is dying, but I find it beautiful, and calming.

I wish I could find someone with the same love of Halloween. My family doesn't really care about it. To my mom, it means making me a costume. To my brother, it means buying a huge bag of candy and sitting around watching some horror flick. To my dad...I don't think it even means anything to my dad. For him, it's just another day.

But I love Halloween. It means so much to me. I start getting excited about it as early as July, and continue thinking about it and preparing for it until midnight on Halloween day. And then...I'm left with a depressing emptiness, because it's over again. But then, I look through my candy, and I think of my costume for the next year, and I wait eagerly for the next October 31st.

I wish someone felt the same way as me. (Then we could throw a huge Halloween party!!! Eeee, that would be so fun! With monster movie marathons, and trick or treating, and horror makeovers, and tons of gross looking but delicious food. Man. That would be so awesome.)

But...most people don't really care about it that much. To them, for a while it means free candy, but then they get older, and it means...nothing. Just another day for little kids to run around high on sugar.

It's scary for me to think that I'm getting to the age where I'm probably too old for trick or treating. I've always done it, so long as I can remember. (Maybe if I were shorter, I could pass off as younger...>_>) But now, people will think of me as a freaky teen, and maybe wont even open the door. Which I find unfair. But I guess I'm almost, if not already, too old.

I wish I didn't have to grow up. So far, I find nothing good about being a teenager.

Man, now I feel like crying. I don't want Halloween to mean nothing to me. And even if I continue to love it immensely, what am I supposed to do when no one else cares, and no one will even let me participate because I'm too old? I can watch specials by myself, and make my own gruesome food, and buy my own candy, but that's not nearly as fun as it would be too spend Halloween with someone else who cares.

Okay, now I have to have children, just so I can make them costumes and take them trick or treating. ...but what if they don't like Halloween? ;_______;

Okay, I'm going to stop worrying about my age. Maybe I'm still young enough. And even if I'm not, I can still thoroughly enjoy Halloween, can't I?