I swear, just yesterday it was the first day of vacation.
There I was...not excited, exactly, but relieved. That I didn't have to go anywhere, see anyone. That I could just sleep, and watch TV, and play on the computer. And just...relax.
I had been so stressed. So tired. I don't even know why, I just was.
And now...tomorrow, I'm off on the next chapter. My first day of high school.
Wow. I'm in high school.
It's crazy. I'm definitely not ready for this, but I don't think anything is going to change whether I'm scared or not.
I'm so much older than I can take.
I'm kind of upset that that was all I got for a vacation. I didn't do much of anything. Which, in itself, was nice, not NEEDING to do anything. But...I wish I could say I accomplished something.
I...
Fostered cats. (And became more attached to them than I have to any foster cat since our first time fostering. Which isn't good, because I was really upset when they got adopted.)
Saw my grandparents. (Including my grandpa in the hospital. I managed to cry at least three times there.)
Spent time with friends. (And decided that I really am destined to be a loner, despite how much I complain about being alone.)
Attempted to figure myself out. (And managed to figure out that I know nothing about who I am.)
Went between periods of refusing to eat and eating everything in sight. (Discovered I must have some problem with food.)
Slept at strange times. (Discovered that no matter how late, or early, I stay up, I can never manage to talk to the people I want to.)
Cried over strange songs, and at strange moments. (Discovered that I am a major crybaby.)
Got over past mistakes. (Already ready to get caught up again.)
I suppose...I accomplished something. Not much, but something.
I am scared of high school. Very much so.
But...maybe I'll be okay.
There's only up from here...
I...
Fostered cats. (And became more attached to them than I have to any foster cat since our first time fostering. Which isn't good, because I was really upset when they got adopted.)
Saw my grandparents. (Including my grandpa in the hospital. I managed to cry at least three times there.)
Spent time with friends. (And decided that I really am destined to be a loner, despite how much I complain about being alone.)
Attempted to figure myself out. (And managed to figure out that I know nothing about who I am.)
Went between periods of refusing to eat and eating everything in sight. (Discovered I must have some problem with food.)
Slept at strange times. (Discovered that no matter how late, or early, I stay up, I can never manage to talk to the people I want to.)
Cried over strange songs, and at strange moments. (Discovered that I am a major crybaby.)
Got over past mistakes. (Already ready to get caught up again.)
I suppose...I accomplished something. Not much, but something.
I am scared of high school. Very much so.
But...maybe I'll be okay.
There's only up from here...